


Gravid Problems

by Gemi



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Incest, M/M, Mpreg, Raph's potty mouth, cursing, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-19 16:12:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19136164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemi/pseuds/Gemi
Summary: “I got knocked up.”“... you snuck out last night and got… knocked down?” Leonardo delicately asks, because of course he does.“No, idiot,” he says, squinting up at the glow-in-the-dark stars Leo put up when they were little, now impossible to remove. They still glow a dull green. “I’m pregnant.”





	Gravid Problems

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blackdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackdragon/gifts).



“You’re gravid,” Donatello says, and all Raphael can do is stare. His brother blinks at him, eyes large and buglike behind the goggles he wore during the examination. 

 

“What?” he rasps out. 

  
Donatello’s confusion ease into a small smile. The goggles are pushed up to rest on his head instead. 

 

“Oh, sorry, you’re pregnant. But for turtles it is called  _ gravid _ .” 

 

“I’m  _ what _ ,” Raphael says, louder now, and then he looks down at his belly. His belly, which is perfectly normal. It doesn’t  _ look _ like--

 

“We don’t  _ stretch _ , Raph. Well, I don’t think we do? We are mutants. Maybe we actually do stretch.” Donatello taps his chin. 

 

“How the  _ fuck _ am I pregnant.” 

 

“You’re intersex-”

 

“I  _ know that! _ ” Raphael snaps, shoving the chair shrieking across the floor as he pushes to his feet, “But you said I couldn’t- I couldn’t- I  _ can’t! _ ”

 

“Well you couldn’t  _ then _ . But it’s been a few months and… well. When I examined you back then, you shouldn’t have been able to. But when I examined you  _ now _ , those organs were fully functional. It must be a secondary mutation, triggered by… well, something that requires further studying.” Donatello pauses. Then, hesitantly, he reaches out and takes Raph’s clenched fist between his own hands. It does  _ nothing _ to calm him down. 

 

“Do you want an… abortion? I’m sure I can figure something out.”

 

That feels wrong. He knows it  _ isn’t _ wrong, of course- he has kept an eye on the underdogs in the city for way too fucking long to not be pro-choice. But  _ he  _ doesn’t want to do that. Something must have showed in his face, because Donnie only nods and squeezes his hand before letting go.

 

“Do you want me to be there when you tell Leo?”

 

“No, no,” oh fuck,  _ Leo _ , how the fuck will Raph explain  _ this _ to him, they thought it was a  _ stomach bug _ , “Just don’t tell anyone else, alright? I don’t want Mikey thinking he’s  _ funny _ .”

 

“You have to admit, he  _ does _ have his moments.”

 

Raphael snorts, and at Donnie’s laugh, it almost feels like everything is normal.

 

~

 

Telling Leo is harder than it should be.

 

It’s just that it might be a huge fucking  _ surprise _ to Raph, but at least Raph knows what he  _ wants _ . But he and Leo never even  _ thought _ to talk about kids, and it’s not like he can just move out if Leo doesn’t want to be in on it. It doesn’t work like that. They aren’t humans who can just run off whenever they want. They’re a family stuck in the sewers, forever, and they’re both way too protective to even  _ risk _ leaving the others alone. 

 

So days pass. Soon enough a week has gone by, and Donnie’s encouraging smiles starts to grate and Raph  _ knows _ Leo suspects something, because of fucking course he does. Raphael haven’t wanted to have sex since he found out and it’s not that they fuck like rabbits, but they usually do  _ something _ at least once a week. 

 

Usually more than once a week. More like four.

 

Possibly five.

 

The point is, Raphael waits too long. He can only blame it on bad breath that many times, especially when his little ‘stomach bug’ has been acting up every morning and grows worse at the smell of toasted bread. If Raph didn’t know he was pregnant,  _ he _ would be concerned too. 

 

“Raph,” Leo sighs, hand cupping Raph’s cheek, which is impossibly unfair. Raphael glares in response, but as always he can’t make himself move away, “What did Donnie say? You’ve been throwing up every day for a  _ week _ . You don’t even want fried eggs anymore, and you  _ love _ making that disgusting combo of toast and eggs.” 

 

Raph grimaces; he  _ does _ miss scoping fried eggs onto his bread, but the mere idea of it now makes him nauseous for more than one reason. Leonardo’s frown deepens.

 

“ _ Raph _ ,” he says, pleading, and Raphael groans and flops back down into bed. Leo lets him, but probably only because fearless leader is pinning down Raph’s legs, putting his hands on Raph’s thighs to gently but firmly hold. No escape. What a fucker.

 

Raphael can’t believe he _ loves _ this asshole.

 

“I got knocked up.”

 

Silence falls. 

 

“... you snuck out last night and got… knocked  _ down _ ?” Leonardo delicately asks, because of course he does. It wouldn’t be the first time one of them were loopy after an unlucky fight. Still, it eases Raph’s discomfort into reluctant amusement.

 

“No, idiot,” he says, squinting up at the glow-in-the-dark stars Leo put up when they were little, now impossible to remove. They still glow a dull green. “I’m  _ pregnant _ .”

 

More silence. This time it stretches long enough that Raph raises his head to frown at his mate. 

Leonardo stares blankly back. Raphael raises an eyeridge.

 

“You still here?”

 

Leonardo opens his mouth; no words come out, and Raph can feel his mate squeeze his thighs. Raphael snorts and lets his head fall back down, and he can’t help but feel a little smug. At least  _ he _ could talk after the reveal.

 

“I’ll wait,” he tells Leo, then pauses. “Donnie says there’s three of them, by the way. Names gonna be a bitch.”

 

Leo wheezes. 

 

~ 

 

_ “Donatello,” _ his mate hiss as he  _ drags _ Raph into Donnie’s room, kicking the door shut just in case the rest of their family is snooping around, “how is this  _ possible?  _ How long will- will it take? What the f--!”

 

Leo cuts himself off, which is disappointing. Raphael was so sure he would hear fearless actually  _ curse  _ for once. 

 

“Oh!” Donatello beams, back to looking like a bug eyed weirdo, and this time the goggles remain in place. Raph bites back a snort. “So you told Leo? I don’t  _ know _ how it’s possible,” Donnie then added, twirling a pencil between his fingers, “Raph won’t let me examine him more than necessary. But Raph is the  _ only _ one of us who ever had the possibility to become  _ gravid _ , so rest assured you won’t be too. Of course, it also means I have no clue what is happening until  _ Raph _ lets me  _ examine him. _ ” 

 

Raphael yanks his arm free from Leo’s grasp, then swats Leo’s hands away when his mate desperately tries to grab him again. It’s a weird scenario, of course, and Raph  _ knows _ Leo gets way too overprotective whenever weird shit happens. But there are  _ limits _ .

 

He gives Leo’s hands another swat, this time harder, before he turns to Don. In the background, Leo frowns at him while rubbing his wrist. 

 

“I’m not letting you stuff  _ anything _ up my ass-”

 

“It’s actually a  _ cloaca _ now, Raph, and-”

 

“It’s my  _ ass _ , I’ll call it whatever the fuck I want-”

 

“Raph, it’s  _ science _ , you can’t argue against science!”

 

“How long will he be pregnant?”

 

Raphael and Donatello pause in their arguing, turning their heads to blink at Leo. Leo, who looks uncomfortable and nervous, that little wrinkle on his nose that always appears when he’s trying  _ so _ hard to be polite when he really doesn’t want to be.

 

“That’s a good question,” Donnie says, and Raph punches him in the arm. It has Donatello hissing and pushing him away. “What was  _ that _ for?”

 

“What do you  _ mean _ it’s a good question? What the  _ fuck _ !”

 

“Well it  _ is _ . It’s not like you’re an actual turtle, Raph!” Donnie protests, rubbing the spot Raph punched, “For all I know, you might not even be oviparous! You could be viviparous, or a mix of the two-” Raphael punches his other arm, “ow, Raph! Leo,  _ stop him! _ ” 

 

“Um,” Leo says, hovering awkwardly.

 

“You’re using the big words again, Donnie,” Raph warns, “Just talk  _ normally _ . What is what? I better not burst open like in those stupid movies Mikey watch!”

 

“Of course you won’t! Just stop punching me and I’ll  _ tell _ you.”

 

Raphael scowls. Donatello scowls back. 

Leonardo inches closer and takes Raph’s hand, and Raph lets him.

 

“Oviparous is when you  _ lay eggs _ ,” Donnie says, eyeing his brother’s free and still clenched fist warily, “Viviparous is when you give birth, like a mammal in a way. Some snakes do that. And the  _ mix _ of the two is called ovoviviparous, which is when you develop eggs but they hatch inside you and give the  _ illusion _ of a live birth. And for all I know, you can be any of those!”

  
“How can’t you know that, but you know there’s  _ three _ in there?” Leo asks, and Raph glances down at his belly. Which  _ still _ looks normal. 

 

“Because Raph took a week to tell you, but during that week I built a machine so I could hear the heartbeats, eggs or no,” Donnie replies, annoyance in his voice, “And I heard  _ three _ of them in that area. I don’t know if there will still  _ be _ three when they are born or hatched, because we don’t know for how long they’ve been in there already. For all we know, they’re like sharks! Maybe they will eat each other in there. I don’t know! Raph won’t let me  _ examine _ him!”

 

“Raph,” Leo begins, and Raphael glowers at him. But it seems like Leonardo has finally rediscovered his backbone, because he only meets the glare with a calm gaze as he continues, “it would be much safer if you let Donnie examine you.” 

 

“You’re not the one who will get weird shit stuffed up your ass,” he hisses back. 

 

“True, but you’re also  _ pregnant _ . I’m- I’m pretty sure even humans have to endure that during pregnancy.”

  
“ _ Eurgh _ .”

 

“Raph.  _ Please _ . For me. For- well, for them.”

 

“I hate you,” he replies, then glares at Donnie instead. “ _ Fine _ . Examine me! But only the bare minimum to know shit, you hear me?”

 

“Yes, yes, of course, now get on the table and-”

 

“Not fucking  _ now _ !” 

 

“Why not now? It’s the perfect time to do it!”

 

“I’m not- no! Later!” he yells, and then before Leo can even  _ think  _ to try his dumb, too pretty eyes again, Raphael escapes the room. 

 

He runs straight into Mikey.

 

Because of course he does.

 

And whatever hopes Raph had, that Mikey hadn’t put his ear to the door and channeled his freakish hearing for snooping purposes, dies a messy death at the big blue eyes staring at his belly. 

 

“I’m gonna be an  _ uncle!” _ Mikey gasps, delighted and shocked, before a mischievous grin spreads across his face, “you’re gonna be a  _ mommy! _ ” 

 

Raphael punches him right in the face.

 

~

 

Splinter stares for a long moment after they (Mikey) tell him. Then he holds up one long, thin finger.

 

They hold their breaths. 

 

“I will change no diapers,” he tells them, and Raphael can feel himself pale, because  _ holy shit _ . Fuck.  _ Literal _ shit. 

 

“Ditto,” Mikey and Donnie say at the same time. It has them high-fiving, and Raph wants to die at the idea. 

 

“Leo,” he hisses, “ _ you _ will change all the diapers.”

  
“Wha- no I won’t! We should share that burden,” Leo hisses back.

 

“I’ll be the one squeezing them out my ass! I fucking refuse to-”

 

“Diaper duty should be an even, balanced act of love and-”

 

“Wiping shit as an act of love? What the fuck are you-”

 

“My sons,” Splinter cuts in, voice firm, and Raph and Leo fall silent. They still glare daggers at each other, but for once it seems that Splinter will let them do so without correcting their behavior, “All of us shall help you with this new adventure you are facing. We will simply not change their diapers. You, however, should share that burden. That is all.”

 

Then their father smiles, his beady eyes twinkling.

 

“Have you decided names yet?”

 

~ 

 

“We’re not naming one  _ Leia _ , Leo! I’m not a nerd!” 

 

“But- if one is named after me, and one after you, then maybe the third one could be after Master Splinter…”

 

“What kind of name would that even  _ be _ . Sliver? Stick? Wood? Tree? Are you dumb?” 

 

“It was just a suggestion!” 

 

“A shitty one.”

 

Leo scowls.

 

“It’s  _ not _ . But fine! Fine. What if we go with the classics? We can borrow a art history book from Donnie, check names in there-”

 

“Or we could use the internet, like civilized people. Or did you forget that exist again?”

 

“Oh,  _ look _ , a cockroach!” 

 

“Don’t  _ do _ that Leo, you lying son of a-  _ holyshitfuck a cockroach!” _

 

~ 

 

They do settle on names, of course. Eventually. A month in. 

They don’t know the genders yet, but that’s fine, it just means they get to pick out six names. 

 

And they decided to go with the classics.

 

~ 

 

Raphael wakes up, and then he shoves Leo awake. He watches his mate flail about in the blankets, all tangled up because where Raph runs hot at all times, Leo is an ice cube that needs as many layers as possible when sleeping. Preferably enough layers that his ice cold feet doesn’t ever touch Raph’s.

 

Which is dumb. They have set up a sandbox and sunlamps and all kinds of weird shit in the corner of the room; if Leo insists on being cold, he could just sleep  _ there _ until the eggs show up. If they will be eggs.

 

Finally, Leo defeats the evil blankets, and he turn bleary eyes towards Raph. 

 

“I want buffalo wings dipped in peanut butter,” Raphael informs him.

 

Leonardo stares.

 

“... why… did you wake me to say that?” he slowly asks, rubbing at one eye. 

 

“Because I want you to go and get them for me.”

 

“Your legs still work, don’t they?”

 

“I’m  _ pregnant _ . I have  _ cravings _ . Go and make me some goddamn buffalo wings.”

 

“We don’t even have chicken, Raph. It would take literal hours.”

 

“I don’t care. Give them to me.”

 

Leonardo stares some more. Then he groans and exits the bed, and Raphael spends a moment admiring his behind as Leo puts his gear back on. It’s a nice ass. Pregnancy hormones, apparently, makes the ass look even  _ nicer _ . Which Raphael honestly hadn’t thought was possible. 

 

Once the door closes, Raph flops back down into bed and grins.

 

There are  _ some _ perks to being pregnant.

 

~ 

 

“I don’t want it anymore.”

 

“I just. Raph. I spent  _ two hours _ finding and making this for you, and now you don’t want it?”

 

“I think,” Raph slowly said, taking an experimental nibble of the buffalo wing, “It would have been better with crunchy peanut butter.”

 

“One of our biggest arguments in our relationship was you insisting that smooth was the only option and that I was a fu- a  _ fool _ for thinking otherwise.”

 

Raphael sniffs and pushes his plate towards Leo.

 

“Don’t want it,” he says again, and Leo groans and accepts the plate. Raphael watches him grumpily, reluctantly eat the mess, because Leo and Mikey have always been the worst when it comes to avoid wasting food. 

 

His smug grin softens. Leo catches it and frowns, confused.

  
“What?”

  
“I love you,” Raph says, before he can stop himself. Then he blushes, annoyed at himself, but it’s too late. Leo’s frown is already melting into a soft smile, his dumb, blue eyes lighting up.

 

“I love you too,” he replies, voice as soft as his smile, and Raphael’s blush deepens. He’s not  _ good _ with this shit- never has been. But Leo looks so happy that he can’t even get mad at him, or himself. 

 

“You better,” Raph manages to say, averting his eyes, “I’m carrying your offspring.”

 

“ _ Our _ offspring,” Leonardo corrects, “and I love them too.” 

 

Raphael can hear the chair scrape against the floor as Leo gets up. Gets closer, and he grumbles as Leonardo tilts Raph’s chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes. Except Raph could pull away whenever he wanted to, because Leo’s touch is gentle and barely there, except for how Raph leans into it.

 

“I look forward to having a family with you, Raphael,” he says.

 

“... me too,” Raph mumbles back, feeling like he is burning up. But he doesn’t deny the kiss when it comes. If anything, he deepens it. Tugging Leo closer, until they have to shuffle back to their rooms to continue. 

 

~ 

 

They pop out as eggs.

 

And it hurts.  _ A lot _ . 

 

~ 

 

The eggs are three. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, but Raph can’t stop staring at them. It’s just- they are  _ there _ . In front of him. He had those things inside him just hours ago, and now they’re not  _ inside _ him anymore. And inside the eggs there are little people that he and Leo are supposed to name and feed and raise and turn into proper little people, and that’s just.

 

Insane.

 

However.

 

“Condoms forever now,” he tells Leo, who is sitting next to him, staring at the eggs too. “If you knock me up again I’ll cut your dick off.”

 

“Okay,” Leo says, too dazed to say much else.

 

And then one egg cracks. 

 

~ 

 

The eyes are blue and green, there are tiny chubby cheeks and Raphael holds two in his lap while Leo holds one and- and-

 

And they are amazing.

 

They are  _ perfect _ .

 

He and Leo made these. These three little people, yawning and smacking their lips. One has blue eyes, one has green eyes, one has both. It’s a perfect mix of him and Leo. Even their colors start at both ends, and then mix and blend in the middle on the third one. It’s- they’re amazing.

 

“So what are their names?” Mikey asks. His voice is hushed, and Raph is happy he’s not the  _ only _ one who cried. 

 

They all fucking did. Even Master Splinter has damp cheeks.  _ Donnie _ is still sniffling, even as he collects the egg shells and put them into little containers for future testing or some shit like that. 

 

“What?” Raph asks, tearing his eyes away from the- from  _ their babies _ \- to look at Mikey.

 

“Names, dude,” Mikey says, leaning forward to touch a tiny, tiny hand, “what did you pick?”

 

Raphael slowly looks back down at the babies.

Looks at Leo, who also seems to be having the same realization.

 

“... Donnie,” Raph says, “What’s the gender of our kids?” 

 

Silence falls.

 

Then, Mikey snorts. Then he starts giggling. And then he begins to  _ cackle _ . 

Donatello’s lips twitch. Splinter’s whiskers twitch, too, and their father starts chuckling.

  
“Wha- don’t do that!” Leo splutters, cradling the baby close, as if to protect them from their evil family, “how are  _ we _ supposed to know?” 

  
“It’s not like they got bits dangling,” Raph adds in, scowling furiously, which is  _ hard _ , because the one with blue eyes is gnawing at his thumb and it’s  _ amazing _ . “Stop laughing, you fucks!”

  
“Raph,” his mate hisses, “ _ language _ .” 

 

“I’m not going to fucking censor myself,  _ Leo! _ ” 

 

“Just-” Donnie giggles, gesturing at them, “just t-tell me which ones have a long or short tail.” 

 

“You can tell it from  _ that? _ ” 

 

“Unless they’re  _ very _ different from actual turtles, it should be enough, yeah!”

 

Raphael and Leonardo eyes him, unsure. Then they inch closer together until their shoulders touch, and they inspect the tiny, tiny tails of their kids.

 

“... two of them got long tails,” Leonardo finally says, thumbing the chubby cheek of the one in his own lap. “So which is which?”

 

“Long tail means it’s a boy.” Donatello’s giggles eased into a smile, “Congratulations. You have two guys and one girl. So, what are the names?”

 

They look back down at their children.

 

They’re so tiny; barely bigger than their hands, and so chubby. The little girl kicks her foot out, squeezing her eyes shut. The boys gnaw on each other, harmless chewing of gumless mouths.

 

Raphael feels like crying again. He sniffles, and wishes he could wipe his eyes, but he  _ can’t _ , because his hands are literally full.

 

“Gianni, Luca and Olivia,” he says, voice thick, and kisses Leo. 


End file.
